Why Being A Billionaire Would Suck

Travie McCoy wants to be a billionaire (so frickin’ bad) and I like to play devil’s advocate. What better motivation to write a new post?

This isn’t just a passing thought. This has been on my mind for a while. It’s one of those random things you discuss that everyone seems to have the same opinion on- Yes I would like to be rich. Why?

My first thought is that we associate more with better, so more money means a better life. Not being a fan of groundless rationalities I would like to present some reasons why being a billionaire would suck.

1. Value
All the way down to our subconscious mind we create values for products based on what they cost. That’s why when you eat food from the mini bar it tastes ‘better’ just because we are paying more. Continuing this line of thought, if you were a billionaire even the most expensive meal would be nothing but pocket change meaning, it would taste like a dog’s back on a hot day.

2. Snobs
No-one likes them but the transformation into ‘snobdom’ is unavoidable like sunlight, the aging process or people putting mayonnaise in your sandwich.

3. Work
The simple truth is no billionaire works 9-5. They are either CEO of multinational corporations, in which case they work all, the, time, or, they’re playboys who never really work (they may call themselves socialites). This means either

a) you never see your friends
b) you sit around all day like an old maid, staring to the horizon, waiting for your friends to finish work.


4. Trust
Everyone has trust issues. Imagine what would happen if you had a billion reasons for someone to betray you. How would that feel? You wouldn’t trust anyone. Boo Hoo. Much worse than your insecurities is the very real possibility that you are not being paranoid at all. You better believe if there was the possibility of gaining a few million dollars commission, assassins will be lining up left, right and centre to unleash their AK47 at your Armani covered ass.

5. No Restrictions
Not completely unrelated to the first point I suppose but from the other side. We love chocolate because we can’t have it. Cigarettes are desirable (to some (other) people) because they are wrong. We love things that are stupid and ultimately lead to our demise. BIllionaires have no such area. Want to raft down a waterfall of Mediterranean budgies? Easy. Want a playstation 3 that cooks your breakfast with lasers? It is made. There are no limits and with that comes a world with no desire.

So there you have it. A few select reasonings why you are better the way you are. So please, next time you drool over the thought of super wealth, remember how lucky you are to be a broke loser nobody wants to be.


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